Are You A Controller?

When Jesus sat at the last supper with His disciples, He was fully aware that Judas was going to betray Him. Judas had been with Jesus and the other 11 disciples for 3 years, and he’d had the same training and example as the rest of them. But Judas had ulterior motives (ie: money bag) which caused him to betray Jesus. As they sat at the last supper together Jesus' and Judas' eyes met, and Jesus said to Judas “what you are about to do, do quickly” (John 13). Judas then left the table and set about the act of betraying Jesus.

But note what Jesus did not do: knowing that Judas was about to make the biggest mistake of his life, Jesus did not stop him. He gave him the choice to betray! In fact, before Jesus gave Judas the bread, He said aloud, “Someone is going to betray me.” That was enough warning for Judas to understand the wickedness of what he was about to do and then make the choice for himself. Jesus didn’t threaten him, warn him, accuse him, manipulate him or demean him; he gave him the choice to sin!
If anyone had reason to control another person, it certainly would have been Jesus at that point in time. But given the opportunity, Jesus did not interfere or control those around Him; He was (and is) about freewill! And while Jesus' teaching and example encouraged making right (God pleasing) choices, He never stepped in and forced others to follow His plan, nor did He stop them from following their own.

The idea behind these points is that it is completely unGodly to control other people. Teaching and training are part of kingdom work, but in church, in our families and in friendships, we are never meant to control others. Certainly, when we have authority to govern, decisions need to be made which others will have to follow, but in situations where we simply want to control others, it is not of God!

Are you a controlling person? Do you dominate, over-react, berate, manipulate, spy, accuse, argue relentlessly, belittle, heap guilt, practice sullenness, bully either physically or emotionally, or make others feel unworthy as a means of getting your way (psychologytoday.com)? Perhaps you are generally right and you let others know it on a continual basis. Or maybe you are closed off to hearing the insights of others, even if you are right!

If so, then please consider Jesus’ response to Judas’ betrayal. Let this be a wake-up call to you, an opportunity to go before the Lord in repentance. Let the Lord show you the results of your controlling behaviors, of constantly trying to pull the strings of those around you. Perhaps you are stopping the will of the Lord by controlling others; if Jesus had controlled Judas, then God’s will would not have been done!

Perhaps each of us has (in a large or small way, occasionally or often) allowed this spirit to work through us!