Here, let me fix you!

I've been blessed to have various mentors in my life, and I've also been a mentor to others. This is the sort of partnership that the Gospel describes in Timothy's life: Paul mentored Timothy while at the same time Timothy mentored others.

It's a simple pleasure in life that we grow in relationship with others as we mentor and are mentored, discovering the things we have in common yet respecting one another's God given differences in personality.

But it's not a necessity that we have all things in common with the one we mentor or the one who mentors us. It's especially important that we who mentor don't try to create 'spitting images' of ourselves and regard differences in personalities and preferences as something that needs to be fixed or corrected during the mentoring process.

Paul said "follow me as I follow Christ" (1 Cor. 11:1). In other words, watch me and see how I live out the Word in my life, that's what a mentee does, in large part. But you, as a mentee, are not required to become like me, no matter how happy I am, or successful I am or beautiful I am - this should never be a requirement for a mentee. Mentee's need not transform their lives to look exactly like ours, or serve God in the same way we do, to be acceptable in our sight. Jesus fully accepted John the Baptist in all his quirkiness and camel's hair clothing: in fact, this was an expression of the personality God had given him to fulfill his calling. This isn't to say that we can't help each other with the sanctification process, but that we must be careful not to try and recreate individuals to our liking and call it 'sanctification.'

In short, mentors (and friends, and spouses, etc.) have to respect the God-given individuality of other people while helping them mature in Christ by being a humble example. Part of the mentoring process is learning to shift our attention from our own comfortable pleasures onto the one being mentored, and in the process our own shortcomings and weaknesses are revealed - this is God's design to mature us as we mature others. And perhaps some of those quirks we want to 'change' in others are part of God's plan to completely fit the Body of Christ with a 'John the Baptist' for every situation that arises and every task that needs to be completed in the Body.

"God, grant me the serenity [peaceful willingness] to accept the things I [should not try to ] change, the courage to [inspire] change [towards greater Godliness] for the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." (Serenity Prayer)