Ever Been Misunderstood?

Have you ever been misunderstood and couldn’t seem to bring resolve to the situation? Perhaps your actions or words were taken in the wrong way and someone either wouldn’t listen to your explanation or they wouldn’t believe you!

Hannah, who cried before God for a child of her own, was accused of being drunk. Mary, when she anointed Jesus feet with spikenard, was accused of having ulterior motives of prostitution. But neither of these women had motives other than to serve God and give to Him the things they treasured most in life: Hannah her child and Mary her heart.

Hannah was able to explain her situation and make herself understood, but Mary wasn’t. However, Jesus spoke up for Mary – He knew the intentions of her heart. Where Mary had previously used her body in the life of a prostitute, she now gave all she had to the sacred service of her Lord Jesus Christ – even her hair and tears were meant to honor Him. Jesus understood her, but those around her snubbed her in spite of His explanation. Sometimes people will see us in light of our ‘past’ lives and refuse to let us out of that box – but not Jesus Christ, He sees the motive of the heart.

One reason people misunderstand others is because they have been hurt in the past (perhaps more than once) and our words or actions trigger the memory of that hurt. In response, they put the same motives behind our words and actions that were (or thought to be) behind the words and actions of those that hurt them. So we become just another offender – perhaps one in a series of offenders who have been misjudged or misunderstood.

There are a few things you can do to help a situation where you have been misunderstood:
1st – Pray, of course! Let God show you how to handle this – He may give you insight and you’ll be able to resolve it quickly or He may tell you to wait on His timing.
2nd – Check your heart for any hidden motives – was there anything inside of you that was taking an opportunity to ‘stick it to’ someone? If so, repent.
3rd – Go directly to the person, in LOVE, and ask for a meeting. If they are willing to meet, make sure grace and restoration are your motives. When you meet - Listen! - hear the heart of the other person. If they aren’t willing to meet, consider waiting a while then trying again.
4th – When another’s past hurts are involved, you will be dealing with a stronghold in the person’s emotions – God has to do the work. If they won’t meet or won’t forgive, you still need to forgive and move on or you'll stifle the love and work of God in your life. Don’t hold the hurt – and don’t spread the ‘news’ to others about it. Let nothing fester inside of you and form a stronghold which overrides future situations.

The Bible has various means of dealing with being ‘wronged’ (Matt 18), but this study is dealing with misunderstanding one another. Perhaps if we can quickly resolve a misunderstanding it won’t turn into a full blown ‘war’ between two of God’s children and the focus can be brought back to serving God instead of carrying out the plan of the enemy to divide the brethren.

Blessed are the peacemakers!